Brando’s Last Stand: The Forgotten Interview
Still creepy after all these years...
Somebody Hit The Lights! has obtained exclusive access to an until-now unpublished interview with Marlon Brando, method actor par excellance, butter lover, and iconoclast, from all the way back in 1980, as Marlon was just coming off of the double success of Apocalypse Now and Superman. This exchange was lifted from the master microfich, which resides in the vaults of The Castle of Fame, in Burbank, CA. The Castle was kind enough lo lend the rights to us, and we couldn’t be more honored. The interview was conducted on a Realistic Tape Deck 120-99, using a high fidelity Memorex cassette tape and then transcribed to typewriter. A Blue Fox microphone was used, with 52 pick up, at 34dbs per second. For you equalizer fanatics out there, the tape was later mastered using a 4 channel Kreinhauser board. Marlon was eating a large Pastrami sandwich, with extra mustard and wilted but still delicious lettuce shreds. At his sides were two Island women – and I’m not talking about Long Island here – who sat like Buddhas and did not say a word as they fanned M. The questions were asked by Peter Bogdonovich, creepy buglike director of The Last Picture Show and lover of Dorothy Stratten and none too soon her younger sister. That;s some major creepy shit, y’all.
Brando and Candy in Candy (1968).
Peter Bogdonovich: Marlon, it’s wonderful to have this opportunity to get some thoughts from your brain down on the permanent record.
Marlon Brando: Pastrami. You look like a bug.
PB: My friend Henry Jaglom might be stopping by. He’s a great admirer of your work.
MB: Another creepy director who seems gay but is just an effeminate letch. Goulden’s.
PB: Marlon, you just worked with Frank Coppola on Apocalypse Now. Word is the shoot was horrendous but the results were worth it.
MB: Francis is a pig. Why do you look like an insect?
PB: How do you respond to the criticism so fashionable in the months after the film’s release that you “mumble” your way through the performance as Colonel Kurtz?
MB: effffghhh-nufffruzzz. boo-boop skitch skatch ma. bubumdle-dorf. cock and balls. headpiece filled with straw. codpiece. the mustard…the mustard. minnie the mooooocherr. I just was thinking….uggggghhhh…[scratches chin and forehead thoughtfully, as only the inimitable Brando can] did you realize, you bug, that when this interview, as you call it, is published, your name may very well appear as “PB,’ which is an acronym for peanut butter? I feel….hungry. This makes me [long pause]…..hungry. A field of gardenias.
PB: Why did you have such a dry period in Hollywood between Julius Caesar and Candy?
MB: Hollywood kills what it loves. Like the Romans did to…may I be so bold…Jesus. Tinseltown wants originality and insight, but if some schmuck like me comes along and tries to express some real humanity, real vulnerabilty, conflict, paradox, then the powers that be must squash it like a bug. Because they are afraid…they are afraid…. Did you see how that Republican fuckhead Clint Eastwood treated Sasheen Littlefeather at the Oscars? Hollywood is a happy whore caught between a longing for truth and a fetishistic hard-on for the blitheness of the Image. Can you pass the mustard?
[at this point, Jaglom arrives with his lips stuck to Orson Welles heine, and the two auteurs briefly join the interview. Orson and Brando argue over a stick of butter, which the former wants to eat and the latter wants to jam up his ass.]
More to come…
Short URL: http://www.somebodyhitthelights.com/?p=19
Posted by Lights! Editorial Staff
on Mar 1 2010 Filed under On The Marquee, Our Feature Presentation, The Real Thing Baby.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can leave a response or trackback to this entry
